As you start to walk on the way the way appears

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The secret of long relationships

Sevgi (Love): You should love without harming, spilling, or hurting. After all, everyone claims to love.

Loyalty: Trust is more important than love. You love whom you trust. Love ends where trust ends.

Patience: You shouldn’t leave at the first fight or argument. You should fight for your relationship. It takes courage to love, but perseverance to continue.

Respect: You should respect their decisions and the way they live their life. Don’t try to change them. Love them as they are, not as you want them to be.

Interest: Finally, interest is crucial because everything that doesn’t receive attention dies. This includes feelings, relationships, and even flowers.

PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS AND ITS IMPACT ON PERCEPTION, JUDGMENT, AND BEHAVIOR

Since 2010, I have occasionally shared insights in my writings about the subconscious processes that influence our decisions, often without our awareness. In this context, this article will examine the impact of physical attractiveness and persuasion on our decisions. My goal is for you to make more informed decisions after reading this article and not to be misled by physical attractiveness.

HOW DOES THE PERCEPTION OF PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS AFFECT BEHAVIOR?

Physical attractiveness is a significant factor that people consider when evaluating someone. Research indicates that individuals exhibit a more positive attitude towards physically attractive people and are more inclined to believe what they say.

Numerous studies in the field of business have shown that physically attractive individuals tend to be more successful. For instance, a physically attractive waiter in a restaurant may receive more tips. It has also been observed that attractive individuals receive more positive responses in job interviews and are perceived as more skilled and qualified by employers.

In social and personal relationships, physical attractiveness can also be influential. One study revealed that an attractive person joining a group received more attention and was more readily accepted. Additionally, physically attractive individuals have been observed to be more popular, have more friends, and attract more attention in social settings.

However, physical attractiveness alone is not sufficient, and the influence of other factors should also be considered. For instance, factors such as trustworthiness, authority, and the content of the speech can also be effective in persuasion and belief.

THE IMPACT OF PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS ON TRUST, INTERACTION, AND BELIEF
This situation is supported by various studies demonstrating the significant impact of physical attractiveness on people’s perceptions and social interactions. The influence of physical attractiveness on trust, interaction, and belief can be explained as follows:

Halo Effect: The tendency of people to trust and believe in physically attractive individuals can be associated with a psychological phenomenon known as the “halo effect.” According to this effect, people attribute more positive qualities to someone they find attractive and tend to believe that this person is more honest, intelligent, and trustworthy. Example: In job interviews, employers have been observed to evaluate attractive candidates as more skilled and successful.

First Impression: Physical attractiveness plays a crucial role in the quick and automatic evaluations people make about each other. Attractive individuals are generally perceived as more trustworthy and positively evaluated. Example: In politics, it has been found that voters trust physically attractive candidates more and believe more in their policies.

Social Success: Physical attractiveness is associated with social success and popularity. People trust and believe more in the words of individuals who are accepted and liked by others due to their attractiveness.

However, these tendencies are generalizations and may not apply in every situation.

PEOPLE TRUST PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE INDIVIDUALS MORE AND BELIEVE IN THEIR WORDS MORE

Research shows that people tend to trust physically attractive individuals more and believe in their words more. This demonstrates how the perception of attractiveness can influence people’s perceptions, judgments, and behaviors.

For example, physically attractive individuals may be perceived as more qualified and skilled in the eyes of employers. Therefore, employers may trust these individuals more and believe in what they say. This situation can help attractive individuals achieve more success in the professional world.

It has also been observed that physically attractive individuals attract more attention during presentations and receive more interest from the audience. This may be due to the audience’s more positive attitude towards attractive individuals.

Moreover, attractive individuals have been observed to be more successful in their social interactions with others. For instance, it has been found that an attractive person receives more help and sympathy in an encounter.

FINAL WORDS Although physical attractiveness has a significant impact on persuasion, making decisions based solely on physical attractiveness is undoubtedly misleading. You should pay attention to whether the ideas advocated by a person are logical and realistic, rather than their appearance. You should not allow physical attractiveness to influence you.

Your decisions should be made objectively and logically. It is crucial to make decisions after a detailed analysis, without succumbing to emotional reactions. Remember that your decisions can shape your life in the long run, so it is important to make them consciously.

For those who want to learn more about the topic, here are some recommended resources and books:

The books listed below can help you gain more insight into the impact of physical attractiveness on people’s perceptions. Each book explores the relationship between attractiveness, beauty, and human behavior from different perspectives.

“Beauty Pays: Why Attractive People Are More Successful” – Daniel S. Hamermesh This book is based on research that examines how attractive people are more successful in the business world and social life, addressing the impact of physical attractiveness on people’s successes and perceptions.

“Survival of the Prettiest: The Science of Beauty” – Nancy Etcoff
Nancy Etcoff explores the evolutionary and biological foundations of beauty and attractiveness in this book, examining how these concepts reflect in social interactions among people.

“The Halo Effect: … and the Eight Other Business Delusions That Deceive Managers” – Phil Rosenzweig This book discusses common misconceptions that managers often fall into in the business world, including the Halo Effect, examining physical attractiveness, success, and perception in the context of business.

“Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion” – Robert B. Cialdini This book explains the psychological principles underlying persuasion and influence processes, touching upon the role of physical attractiveness in persuading people.

“The Social Animal” – Elliot Aronson While explaining fundamental concepts and theories in social psychology, this book also addresses the impact of physical attractiveness on people’s social interactions and perceptions.

The Road to Success: The Power of Mindset

1. Success Rates:

  • In every sector, only 5% achieve success. But why?

2. Key to Success:

  • Only 20% of success is related to external factors (company, school, conditions).
  • However, 80% depends on personal factors: mindset, talent, consistent work, change, and adaptability.

3. The Importance of Mindset:

  • Talent and hard work are not enough; you need a strong mindset.
  • Would names like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos succeed if they did your job? Probably yes. Because of mindset!

4. What is Mindset?

  • Having the right and positive perspective.
  • Your stance against problems: Like with the Everest example, challenges shape who we are.

Challenges are like handfuls of salt. Some put it in a glass and drink bitter water, others throw it into the ocean and drink sweet water.

anonymous
  • Stop complaining.
  • Successful people have different habits.
  • Mindset is essentially a way of thinking. This gradually transforms into feelings, behaviors, habits, and eventually character. And character determines our destiny.

5. Final Thoughts:

  • To succeed, you first need to fall.
  • Always focus on the positive.
  • The people around you and their quality directly affect your success.

Conclusion: Right actions yield results only with the right mindset.

How Can You Implement Your Decisions?

New Year’s resolutions mean defining steps to be taken in the future to reach goals for many people. However, implementing these decisions is as important as making them. Here are some key points to consider on this topic:

🤔 Difference Between Knowing and Understanding: Knowing something is just having surface-level information. Truly understanding something means taking action on it, experiencing it, and internalizing it. For example, knowing grammar rules is not enough to learn a language; you need to speak it and practice it to truly understand.

😮 Surprises of Seminars: When giving a seminar, you experience something different each time. The reactions, questions, and feedback from the audience can surprise you. This shows that every seminar is a unique and instructive experience.

💡 Seek Help from Experts: When setting your New Year’s resolutions, it’s important to seek guidance and advice from experts in specific areas you want to improve. For instance, you can seek advice from exercise experts for fitness goals or watch related videos. The knowledge and experience of experts give you a significant advantage in reaching your goals.

🤷‍ Sometimes You Need to Let Go of Some People: There might be people in your life who constantly drain you, lower your energy, or negatively affect you. Moving away from such people is essential for your personal growth and peace. Remember, when you let go, you realize you’ve made a genuine choice.

💡 Every Choice is a Renunciation: Every choice in life means giving up on something. For example, choosing a career path means rejecting other potential paths. However, this doesn’t mean the choice is wrong. Our task is to make a choice, take action, and own the consequences.

🤝 Talented and Determined Individuals in Your Life: Talented and determined individuals entering your life can inspire and motivate you to take action towards personal growth and success. Spending time with such individuals can guide you towards higher goals.

💡 Change Your Thoughts for Success: Sometimes, to achieve success, you might need to change your long-held beliefs, perspective, and even your identity. Be flexible to overcome your own limitations and reshape your thoughts if necessary.

🚴 Take Quick Action: Starting to implement your decisions quickly boosts your self-esteem and confidence. The fear of making mistakes prevents many people from taking action. However, mistakes are opportunities for learning and growth.

Restoring Broken Trust: A Tale of a Snake and a Woodcutter

Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. The strength of the bond we form with our loved ones is based on this trust. However, once broken, it is quite challenging to fully mend this trust. A tale of a snake and a woodcutter helps us delve deep into this matter

In the story, there is a tight friendship between the snake and the woodcutter. However, due to the woodcutter’s greed and avarice, this friendship shatters. The snake falls victim to the woodcutter’s betrayal, leading to the complete dissolution of trust between them. The snake’s refusal to be friends with the woodcutter again highlights the lasting consequences of broken trust and the difficulty of repairing it.

This tale not only reflects the relationship between the snake and the woodcutter but also mirrors all other relationships in our lives. Greed and avarice can deceive us, not just for material gains but also in our social and emotional relationships. Such emotions can harm our relationships and sometimes cause irreparable damage.

In conclusion, mending relationships after trust is broken is quite challenging. This is not limited to the story of a snake and a woodcutter; it applies to every aspect of our lives. Therefore, to protect and strengthen our relationships, it is essential to preserve and value trust.


The Snowball Effect: The Path to Success

Success begins with a single, small step. This is the essence of the Snowball Effect, a concept that explains how success grows and strengthens as we persist and progress.

The Snowball Effect illustrates that initial efforts, however small, amass and transform into something more substantial over time. Persistence and patience are key. Early struggles are part of the journey, but as the metaphorical snowball gains momentum, hurdles become less daunting, and achievements more frequent.

Consider the journey of a content creator. Imagine producing content diligently for six months. The initial phase might bring modest views and subscribers. However, with regular content creation, views gradually increase. By the six-month mark, you celebrate 1000 subscribers and regular views. Then, an unexpected video might go viral, propelling your platform to new heights.

The Snowball Effect applies to various aspects of life. It is a beacon of hope in the face of challenges and wavering motivation. The initial push might be tough, but the growing momentum eventually paves the way, overcoming obstacles.

In essence, the Snowball Effect is a magical path to success. Maintaining focus, determination, and motivation are crucial. This process guarantees an escalating growth rate, amplifying your potential as you advance.

So, let’s set the snowball in motion and embrace the journey towards success. The Snowball Effect is ready to propel us beyond our limits!

8 THINGS BEGINNERS SHOULD PAY ATTENTION TO WHEN STARTING TO LEARN sufı flut ney

THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN STARTING TO LEARN THE SUFI FLUT NEY

The ney is a mystical instrument that affects and nourishes the human soul. It is an integral part of Sufi music and philosophy. Here are some practical tips for those who are starting to learn the ney:

  1. Choosing the right and quality ney:

Before starting to learn the ney, it is important to choose the appropriate type of ney. The most commonly preferred type is the Kız Ney (in the key of B), which is a good starting point. At first, you may think that your fingers cannot reach the holes, but you are not alone. Many people experience this at the beginning. However, as you continue to practice regularly, you can easily cover the holes.
Another important point is to buy a quality ney. If you start with a bad ney, your motivation may decrease and your learning process may be negatively affected.

  1. Patience, patience, patience:

Learning the ney is a process that requires patience. There are no shortcuts to the worthwhile paths. You may experience difficulties at the beginning, but this is a common experience for everyone. You may initially have difficulty making sounds, but later you can achieve flute-like sounds. This is a sign that you are on the right track. No one can make beautiful sounds right away, so keep blowing with patience. Start the journey and the path will appear.

  1. A good teacher:

A teacher not only teaches you the instrument technically, but also instills a philosophy, posture, and attitude. They support your perseverance and increase your motivation. If you do not have the chance to find a one-on-one teacher, you can make progress with online lessons. (I will be posting ney lessons on YouTube soon. Stay tuned.)

  1. Consistency:

The key to success is consistency. Many people start enthusiastically, work intensively in the first days and weeks, then the frequency of their practice decreases and eventually they give up the ney. What you need to do is set realistic goals and practice every day, even if it is only fifteen minutes. However, practice regularly without interruption and you may be surprised where you are after a year.

  1. Control over breath:

You must learn to use diaphragmatic breathing properly to blow the ney. It is important to use diaphragmatic breathing, especially for long and uninterrupted blows. In the ney, different sounds are obtained only by increasing the breath intensity, so good breath control is necessary for clean and smooth transitions between these sounds.

  1. Music knowledge:

If your goal is to become a professional and perform music with other musicians, it is important to learn music theory and note knowledge. However, if you only want to integrate with your own taste and the spirituality of the ney or learn a few pieces, note knowledge is not necessary.

  1. Listening is as important as blowing:

Listening to your favorite ney players and master ney players is as important as blowing the ney. Whatever you feed on, you will start to produce those sounds from your ney unconsciously. Remember, learning the ney is accomplished by blowing the ney as well as listening to the ney.

  1. Continuous improvement:

Learning the ney is a journey of development. If you also learn the philosophy of the ney and Sufi philosophy while learning the ney, you will see that your development process goes more smoothly and easily.

In short, the basic points to consider in the process of learning the ney are patience, choosing the right and quality ney, a good teacher, breath control, music knowledge, listening, and continuous improvement. By following these suggestions, you can increase your chances of success in learning to play the ney and experience the rich experience offered by this mystical instrument. Learning the ney not only develops your musical skills, but also offers a different perspective and inner peace. When you start this journey, you will continue to add meaning to your life by constantly improving yourself in the mystical world of the ney.

DOES HAKAN MENGUC GIVE ONE-ON-ONE NEY LESSONS?

This is a question we are frequently asked. Under normal circumstances, I do not give ney lessons due to my busy schedule and priorities. However, I give one-on-one ney lessons to those who support the Youth Project or make a certain amount of book donations for village schools to contribute to these projects. For those who cannot afford it, I am planning to publish free ney lessons on YouTube soon.

You are what you are looking for

If you are searching for something, it is within YOU. “If you are searching for the guesthouse of the soul, you are the soul. If you are searching for a piece of bread, you are bread. If you are searching for a drop of water, you are thirst. If you are searching for love, you are a lover.. If you understand this point, it means you understand the matter so again

Whatever you are searching for, it is within YOU.”

That is why

If you know what you are searching for, you also know who you are…

Hakan MENGÜÇ

Remember that whatever you are searching for in this world, it is also searching for you.

Every step you take in this pursuit is valuable.

Believe me, it is not in vain. I admit that sometimes you don’t find what you’re looking for, but you can be sure that those who find are always the ones who search.

Mevlana, throughout his life, embarked on the pursuit of many things, a very valuable philosopher and thinker. He sought knowledge, love, nothingness, wisdom, and the way throughout his life…

During this journey, he also searched for a companion who would guide him, open up his horizon, a soulmate, a confidant, a fellow traveler…

He even put his search into verses at times: “Who can see me as I am? I have no color, no insignia. I do not know when this heart will be still.”

While talking about his pursuit, he also offers a very important wisdom to those who understand… Mevlana’s writing is very noteworthy in this respect, in my opinion. Because he directly states some of the information he wants to convey, but he also hides them under obscure and deep expressions and meanings from time to time. He codes them, he does not openly reveal them, he covers them up. Most of his poems are full of these types of codings.

These are the secrets of knowledge that have been sealed. They are not for everyone, but for those who are ready to open themselves up to them… They require maturity, vision, intelligence, intuition, and sensitivity.

Mevlana chooses to open some of his teachings to an active reader and does it with great mastery, with poetry. Let’s stay on the poem I gave as an example and look at Mevlana’s teachings that he concealed:

“Who can see me as I am? I have no color, no insignia. I do not know when this heart will be still.”

Do you know who “friend” is, my fellow traveler?

Friend is someone who understands the state of being. A friend is someone who can hear not only what you say but also what you do not say. Sometimes, while walking your own path in this world, you will feel very lonely. You will feel alone even in the crowds. You may even say to yourself that you are a lonely traveler without anyone to rely on.

You will complain that nobody can see you as you are, complete and whole. You will complain that nobody understands you, notices you, or realizes your existence.

Maybe you will feel like disappearing, the desire to disappear, the need to leave everything behind, and go away. You will want to disappear so that someone will find you, see you, notice you, and understand you.

You will wish for someone to notice your absence immediately, to follow you, to make an effort for you, to pull you out from a narrow and obscure hole that nobody would ever think of. You will want someone to realize your worth. You will wait motionless, hidden, not to be erased but to be discovered in a corner.

At the point where you think you have become completely worthless, you will think that even living has lost its importance. Everything will seem meaningless, bad, and always against you. You will probably have no more enthusiasm, hope, or desire to take even one step forward. You will think it’s over.

But that is where everything begins, be careful. That is where your fate will change.

Mevlana was also a lonely man in the midst of crowds. Outwardly, his surroundings were crowded, his life was full of people, everyone loved him and respected him. But nobody understood him, nobody saw his true self, they saw an idealized image of him. Who was there to truly understand amidst these crowds?

Who was there to hear even their silence?

Who was there to see the invisible in them?

No one!

No one at all…

But still, they continued their search. It had become what they were searching for over time. Both friend, master, travel companion, guide, and path…

Mevlana expressed their search with these words:

“Just as a thirsty lip seeks water, water also seeks a thirsty lip.”

Then one day, what happened?

They found what they were looking for.

A friend came to Konya from thousands of kilometers away.

Their name was Shams-i Tabrizi…

They became a friend who shone like the sun, accompanied Mevlana in writing the Mesnevi, and was filled with love for them.

They had changed and supported Mevlana so much that they described in these verses how they had become complete and whole…

“My eye’s light has come.

If you have asked for something else,

Here I am, that something else.”

Now listen well, my travel companion. Whatever you complain about in your life, know that you have found it because you were searching for it. Therefore, pay attention to what you are searching for. Because what you are searching for is what you are.

If you are searching for love, then you are love. If you are searching for a friend, then you are a friend. If you are searching for knowledge, then you are knowledge. If you are searching for enthusiasm, then you are enthusiasm. If you are searching for peace, then you are peace. If you are searching for success, then you are success.

Your mind and tongue may be tripping you up, be aware. Your mind is a good manipulator, don’t fall into its trap.

A person seeking success doesn’t go to work grumbling in the morning. If you are complaining about working, then what you are seeking is failure, so don’t blame anyone else.

A person seeking love doesn’t criticize or judge the people around them. If you are not extending a helping hand to anyone or generously offering tolerance, then what you are seeking is not love, but loneliness, so don’t blame anyone else.

A person seeking a friend doesn’t act selfishly or lie. If you are not giving anyone trust, only thinking of yourself, or always changing your mind, then what you are seeking is not friendship, but hostility, so don’t blame anyone else.

Stop and think, would you want to be a travel companion with yourself? Would you trust yourself forever? Would you agree with yourself in any situation? Would you turn your back on yourself? Would you attach yourself to yourself? Would you dedicate your life to yourself? Your answers will change the rest of your journey from top to bottom, so be honest please.

Pay attention to what you are searching for.

Look at what you are really pursuing, not just what you appear to be searching for. Look at your actions, thoughts, choices, attitudes, words, feelings, and heart.

Because a person is only what they are searching for, not someone else…

Don’t say you wıll do ıt tomorrow, today was yesterday’s tomorrow

Imagine if we go together to open a bank account for you.
In this bank account, there will be about 1440 lira deposited every single day.
You can use the money in the account, you can save it. Basically, you are free to do whatever you would like with the money deposited in your account.
But there is only one thing you need to know: the money deposited into your account will not be kept in your account tomorrow. Like another 1440 lira will be deposited but whatever you don’t use from the previous day will not be accumulated or saved…you will lose it if you don’t use it. We will name the account: “time.”

Now why did I use the specific amount of 1440 lira because that is minutes, we have each day.
Each day consists of 1440 minutes that we either take advantage of and use or we waste it.

I am asking you to consider and think of one important question:

“Am I using my time wisely or am I wasting it?”

To help us answer this question, he imposes a set of questions:
Did you learn anything today that can help you improve yourself? -Were you surprised by something today?
-Did you do something that you usually fear to do?
-Did you step out of your comfort zone?
-Did you take a good care of your body?
-Did you take a good care of your mental health or mind?
-Did you speak to one of your loved ones today?

If your answer is “YES” to the majority of the questions that means that you are making a good use of your time.
If your answer is “NO” to the majority of the questions that means that unfortunately you are not using your time wisely or more correctly you are wasting the generous gift of time.

Father Augustine’s quote: Basically, he mentions that we can’t understand time by asking what it is instead by not asking we can understand what it is and that’s by living and experiencing.

-Therefore, He doesn’t provide us with a simple definition of what time is because he mentions that there is no definition that can fit to describe what time actually is and he mentions that we already know what time is, in fact is one of the things that we fear losing it is the most because we can’t have it back once it’s gone.

Just like “Soul”, once it leaves our bodies there is no way to return it.

We continue to waste our time without realizing it because we keep thinking that we will have another 1440 minutes in our account tomorrow and we can make up for the things we miss tomorrow but what we tend to ignore or don’t realize that the 1440 minutes we lost today it’s gone, and it’s not been transferred to our tomorrow’s account.

So don’t waste your time thinking of what people think or do, don’t chase the impossible, don’t get into fights that benefits you nothing but wasting your time. Take care of yourself, talk with your loved ones, listen to people, learn new words, new things, research, work for what you love or dream to achieve.

Don’t waste your time and energy on worldly things, on things that will get you too nowhere.

We complain most of the time that we don’t have time. In fact, we have enough time to achieve what we want it’s just a matter of organizing our times. Now for sure we are not robots and maybe we are not able all the time to organize our time minute by minute and sometimes things happen that change our plans and schedules completely, but it is important to recognize the value of time and don’t let it slip away from our hands.

I can talk about my experience in writing this book, because I wrote in the most tiring and difficult times for myself as well. As I was busy with camps and seminars inside and outside Istanbul, but I said that my commitment to writing at 6 am wherever I was. So that I was able to finish this book.

And I also want to mention that anyone who has a control over their bodies and mind have the ability to organize their times as well.

Invest your time in things and people that will move you up not pull you down. Do you the job you love or at least try to love what you do or find aspects in your current job that you love until you find what you love to do. If you lose the sense of time when you are working that means that you are already doing what you love.

-Example: They asked two construction workers, working on a cathedral in the Middle Ages what they were doing? The first one answered: I carry stones all the time and turn them into rectangular blocks” the second worker answered: I am building a cathedral.

What about you? Which worker are you?

Time, is the most precious aspect or thing in life, be careful to who you give it!

OZDEMIR ASAF

Don’t’ say I don’t have time. Use the 1440 minutes deposited into your account every single day. Don’t say I will do it tomorrow or I will see you tomorrow because the 1440 won’t be transferred into tomorrow’s account. And remember that today was yesterday’s tomorrow.